on the other hand the world is such an incredibly beautiful and amazing place that is filled with so much opportunity and how amazing it is that i am alive right now and the universe is so awe-inspiring and i just want to live my life and whatever happens happens but then i have to stop feeling so damn guilty all the time and i am always sorry, i feel sooooo guilty all the time oh my god im so selfish
honestly though like reading about all of these issues (not just lately) make me so worked up and anxious and pissed off and i get sooo fucking overwhelmed and i feel like there are so many damn problems in the world and something happens and then click something else happens! “pay attention to this!! this is important!” like i feel as if the second i begin to care about an important issue another one pops up and i feel guilty because i can’t fucking change literally everything and why do people get so mad all the time why is the world like this why why why. im honestly feeling so conflicted like i want to make change and i want to participate in change and activism and rights and change and fucking progress but like what do i focus on?? so then im like whatever fuck this the world is too far gone its too late for change but at the same time it’s like not too late? its never too late. also the fact that im sitting on my nice comfortable bed and im typing this out like “why me why me oh woe is me!” and i can smell my mom making me dinner and after posting this i’ll likely do my homework because i’m afraid of the school and teachers and i need to do my work. work work work. but i dont want to forget about this!